Updated: May 4, 2017 Home » Tumblr Quotes on Love & Life
Ronald Ulysses “Ron” Swanson is a fictional character portrayed by
Nick Offerman from the situation comedy television series Parks and Recreation on NBC, the character is also known as the human version of Grumpy Cat, Ron Swanson is your average colleague in a government department – sarcastic yet funny.
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Relive the greatest one-liners, memorable scenes, and expressive faces from Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman).
When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t care about them. Don’t teach a man how to fish and feed yourself. He’s a grown man and fishing is not that hard. Dogs under 50 lbs are cats and cats are pointless. Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that. Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something. Body grooming: Only women shave beneath the neck. I once worked with a man for three years and never got to know his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor. There has been a mistake. You’ve accidentally given me the food that my food eats. Best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures. Would I like some salad? Since I am not a rabbit, no. I do not. A guy that shaves his beard probably shaves his vagina too. Crying is acceptable at funerals and Grand Canyon. Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong. I can’t go because I don’t want to.