42 Funny Atheist Quotes About God’s Existence, Fate And Life

Updated: March 20, 2020 / Home » Quotes [ Lesson for Life ]

Atheism is unstoppable and growing rapidly in almost every developed countries, including Japan. This is probably due to better education and the ability to question what once was thought to be a sin – to question religious authorities. Don’t get me wrong, having no religion is as bad as being a religious fanatic, more often than not, a religion stops being a religion and becomes a cult when the followers follows the teaching blindly.

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The question is, can a country be peaceful if a majority of the people are atheist? Denmark and Sweden are among the least religious nations in the world, and also one of the best with good education, minimal crimes and honest people. Three question up for debate, there are no right or wrong, only different opinions.

  • Who created God? and if God can exist without a creator, using the same principle, why can’t humans and all the living beings exist without a creator?
  • Science shows that the universe has billions and billions of planets, if Aliens do exist, doesn’t that contradicts the teaching of God created us in his image? Unless the Aliens have the same human forms too, which is unlikely.
  • If God created humans and all the living beings, then evolution is fake, but within our short recorded history, bacteria and viruses have evolves to counter penicillin and antibiotics we humans developed. Isn’t that proof of evolution? And all religions themselves show the very idea of evolution is real, as seen with the many branches and sub-branches then sub-sub branches of Christianity and Islam as they adapted to the local culture, climate, environment and political situation. There is no 1 denomination of Christianity, neither is there 1 school of Islamic thoughts. Same goes with Buddhism and many other religion in the world.

You talked about hell as if you're born and raised there. - Mark Gungor
You talked about hell as if you’re born and raised there. – Mark Gungor

Reincarnation? It may be that we have all lived before and died, and this is hell.
Reincarnation? It may be that we have all lived before and died, and this is hell.

it is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui. - Hellen Keller
It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui. – Hellen Keller

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able, and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neight able nor willing? Then why call him God? - Epicurus
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able, and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neight able nor willing? Then why call him God? – Epicurus

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world. - Richard Dawkins
I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world. – Richard Dawkins

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If your religion requires you to hate someone, you need a new religion.
If your religion requires you to hate someone, you need a new religion.

You don't need religion to have morals. If you can't determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.
You don’t need religion to have morals. If you can’t determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.

Science adjusts its views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved. - Tim Minchin Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Science adjusts its views based on what’s observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved. – Tim Minchin

If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people. - House Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people. – House (Film)

If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion. - Edmond De Goncourt Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion. – Edmond De Goncourt

They told me to use the brain God gave me. I did. Now I'm an Atheist. Ironic, isn't it? Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
They told me to use the brain God gave me. I did. Now I’m an Atheist. Ironic, isn’t it?

I love you so much that I'm going to hide my existence to the point that I will be indistinguishable from other gods, and if you follow the wrong god, you are going to suffer for eternity. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
I love you so much that I’m going to hide my existence to the point that I will be indistinguishable from other gods, and if you follow the wrong god, you are going to suffer for eternity.

The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. - George Carlin Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. – George Carlin

Thank God I'm an Atheist. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Thank God I’m an Atheist.

Adults with imaginary friends are stupid. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Adults with imaginary friends are stupid.

God promised the end of all wicked people, Thor promised the end of all Ice Giants. I don't see any Ice Giants around. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
God promised the end of all wicked people, Thor promised the end of all Ice Giants. I don’t see any Ice Giants around.

God has an unalterable and perfect plan for every person, but you should still pray in a vain attempt to change it. - David G. McAfee Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
God has an unalterable and perfect plan for every person, but you should still pray in a vain attempt to change it. – David G. McAfee

When one person is delusional, it's called insanity. When many people are delusional, they call it religion. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
When one person is delusional, it’s called insanity. When many people are delusional, they call it religion.

Oh, you're tired of my anti-religion posts? Why don't you pray to God for me to stop? Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Oh, you’re tired of my anti-religion posts? Why don’t you pray to God for me to stop?

Wanna know the funniest thing about people who call people like me Satanists? They believe in Satan, and I don't. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Wanna know the funniest thing about people who call people like me Satanists? They believe in Satan, and I don’t.

Religion is like a P. It's fine to have one. It's fine to be proud of it. But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around, and please don't try to shove it down my throats. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Religion is like a P. It’s fine to have one. It’s fine to be proud of it. But please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around, and please don’t try to shove it down my throats.

You have the right to believe in what you want. I have the right to believe it's ridiculous. - Ricky Gervais Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
You have the right to believe in what you want. I have the right to believe it’s ridiculous. – Ricky Gervais

When they asked me what my religion was. I said I was Non-Delusional. Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
When they asked me what my religion was. I said I was Non-Delusional.

Too stupid to understand science? Try religion! Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!

God made you in his image, really? Then why aren't you invisible? Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
God made you in his image, really? Then why aren’t you invisible?

Religion is just mind control. - George Carlin Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Religion is just mind control. – George Carlin

Either God can do nothing to stop catastrophes, or he doesn't care to, or he doesn't exist. God is either impotent, evil, or imaginary. - Sam Harris Quotes And Saying For Atheist On Anti-Religious People meme
Either God can do nothing to stop catastrophes, or he doesn’t care to, or he doesn’t exist. God is either impotent, evil, or imaginary. – Sam Harris

God must love stupid people; he made so many. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
God must love stupid people; he made so many.

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round and laughed. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round and laughed.

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I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.

I told God to protect me from my enemies and I started losing friends. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
I told God to protect me from my enemies and I started losing friends.

I've got nothing against God. It's his fan club I can't stand. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
I’ve got nothing against God. It’s his fan club I can’t stand.

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

If God did not forgive sinners, heaven would be empty. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
If God did not forgive sinners, heaven would be empty.

Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job as a hitman to arrange the meeting. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job as a hitman to arrange the meeting.

Forgive and forget? I'm neither God nor do I have Alzheimer's. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
Forgive and forget? I’m neither God nor do I have Alzheimer’s.

If you do not sin, God's son died for nothing. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
If you do not sin, God’s son died for nothing.

I asked God to punish me for I have sinned, next day I met you. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
I asked God to punish me for I have sinned, next day I met you.

May God bless you a long, sick and shameful life. Sarcastic Sayings For Atheist Against God Fearing Fanatics
May God bless you a long, sick and shameful life.

You don't need religion to have morals. If you can't determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.
You don’t need religion to have morals. If you can’t determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and controls everything. Unless something bad happens. Then that was Satan.
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and controls everything. Unless something bad happens. Then that was Satan.

If your religion requires that you hate someone you need a new religion.
If your religion requires that you hate someone you need a new religion.

If it’s 1 or 1000 sins you’re still getting sent to Hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and come down here a legend.
If it’s 1 or 1000 sins you’re still getting sent to Hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and come down here a legend.

Argument / Evidence On Why God Doesn’t Exist

My personal opinion is that I’ve lived long enough to find the whole idea of God as the all mighty nothing more than some magical person created by man in his own image, not the other way around as described by most religion. Have you ever wonder why miracles ceased to exist as camera technology improves? The same goes with alien and big foot sightings, as the quality of image improves, there is virtually no excuse for producing blur and grainy videos. Out goes with all those fake Loch Ness photos and ghost images.

Before the invention of camera, holy man resurrect the dead, talks to ghosts, walks on water, cure the blind with a simple touch and more. It all ends with the birth of camera, coincident? I don’t think so. If you are an atheist, don’t attack another person’s religion, let it be, and if you are religious, do not force feed your religion when a person shows no interest in it. Respect each other’s choices.


15 Comments

  1. Gravatar
    Aki Tissicca [ Reply ]

    Religion is like an ocean
    Nobody knows where it came from.

    • Gravatar
      Brooklyn Anthony Reid Wray [ Reply ]

      This has made me laugh so damn hard I can’t even breath

  2. Gravatar
    PaulPipar [ Reply ]

    Great quotes.

    • Gravatar
      Daniella [ Reply ]

      God is real atheist believe it or not he’s real

      • Gravatar
        Acid Kritana [ Reply ]

        Just because you say he’s real doesn’t mean he’s real. For example, what if I claimed that unicorns are real? I would have no evidence, but you have no evidence for God, and you claim he is.
        Also, another thing I’ve said before:
        “It is impossible to prove something doesn’t exist, that has never been proven to exist.”

  3. Gravatar
    Jyothi Jayapal [ Reply ]

    God hacked my PC using html and C++

  4. Gravatar
    Mutheu Mutua [ Reply ]

    I so love the quotes.

  5. Gravatar
    Samantha Smits [ Reply ]

    The best thing about the existence of religion is the nonexistent traffic on Sundays.

  6. Gravatar
    Jess Rubio [ Reply ]

    God is just a variable the initial value is null then they initialized it then it became zero

    • Gravatar
      Richie [ Reply ]

      Wow you just killed me😂😂😂😂

    • Gravatar
      Marcel [ Reply ]

      Religion is an excuse to hide problems which you can’t solve by yourself.

  7. Gravatar
    Switi Mondal [ Reply ]

    The quotes are awesome… I loved them

  8. Gravatar
    Robert Agyei [ Reply ]

    Religion is just a mechanism for psychological comfort, nothing more: it grants comfort in those tumultuous periods. It’s negative effects are however, extremely cruel — causing hatred and a consequent extermination of non-believers.

  9. Gravatar
    Acid Kritana [ Reply ]

    I have said multiple quotes about religion and atheism before, and so I will give you some:
    “Just because I am an atheist does not make me any less than you.”
    “It is impossible to prove something doesn’t exist, that has never been proven to exist.”
    “As an atheist, I have faith. I have faith that you’re wrong and your God is fake.”
    “Why do gays disgust you when you do nothing about pedophile priests?”
    “Instead of blaming all of your mistakes on an imaginary God and “fate”, you should take responsibility and admit when you’re wrong.”

  10. Gravatar

    Judging by the contents of this page, what a bunch of stupid, naive and misinformed people atheists are. The ignorance and irrationality on display in most of those quotes is stunning to behold.

    And the irony that some of the quotes are from theists and Christians, is a rather entertaining comedy of embarrassment.

    The irrational and even more ignorance-based dumbass comments of the author are even more hilariously bad.

    Thankfully, far more intelligent people invented modern science and changed the world. They were all theists. And 99% of them were Christians. NO atheists were involved.

    Historical FACT:
    Kepler, Galileo, Newton, Leibniz, Steno, Antoine Laurent Lavoisier, Huygens, Leonhard Euler, James Clerk Maxwell, Walter Reed, Heisenberg, Joseph J. Thomson,Kelvin, Faraday, Pasteur, Townes, Gödel, Georg Cantor, Marconi, Dr Felix Konotey-Ahulu, Werner von Braun, Dr Andy C. McIntosh, Dmitri Mendeleev, Walter Lammerts, Flemming, Planck, Pupin, Millikan, Joachim Scheven, AE Wilder Smith with 3 earned doctorates in science! and on and on …

    ALL theists and creationists! But all stupid, evil dishonest, hypocrites according to the professional imbecile that made this page.
    Of course a self-styled genius such as the clueless twit that created those asinine pictures, would also know, in making that statement, that 65% of all Nobels were awarded to Christians?

    As Einstein wrote: “The fanatical atheists are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who – in their grudge against traditional religion as the ‘opium of the masses’ – cannot hear the music of the spheres.”

    And as Isaac Newton wrote, “Atheism is so senseless and odious to mankind that it never had many professors.”

    And even Voltaire nailed atheist for what they really are:
    “The atheists are for the most part imprudent and misguided scholars who reason badly who, not being able to understand the Creation, the origin of evil, and other difficulties, have recourse to the hypothesis the eternity of things and of inevitability…..” – Voltaire: Philosophical Dictionary

    Of course, gullible, easily fooled ignoramuses and naive dopes these days swallow every lie they were told by their atheist brainwashers. So, there’s no surprise that inane pages like this exist to show the 7.3 billion people on earth who are not atheists, just how incompetent and brain-dead atheists really are.

    Thanks!
    lol

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