71 Sarcastic & Funny Quotes When Unfriending Facebook Friends And Enemies

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Sarcasm, some just don’t get it. Here are 45 top sarcastic and insulting and sarcastic catch phrases for you to post onto your Facebook wall. If you want to “insult” your good friend, do it in a witty way, these images enable you to convey your message – loud and clear. Some friends are so annoying that an indirect message such as these is required to send a simple yet clear warning – I will unfriend you! Back in the good old days, people kept their diary personal, today, Facebook is the only book they read and it is probably their diary too.

See More ▼ 30 Sarcastic Anti-Selfie Quotes For Facebook And Instagram Friends

Undeniably, some of the quotes regarding their Facebook social behavior are true. The content below consists of parodies of the sentiments found in the traditional Hallmark greeting. You might find out other quotes 27 Insulting ‘Bitch Please’ Quotes And Meme For Your Enemies and 55 Funny Non-Swearing Insults And Sarcastic Quotes to your liking too. Remember to share them on Facebook. :) Remember to share and tag them before unfriending them.

Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page.
Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page.

I thought I was awesomely creative, imaginative, and original. Then I found Pinterest.
I thought I was awesomely creative, imaginative, and original. Then I found Pinterest.

Spending a day on Facebook has once again fooled me into believing I have an actual social life.
Spending a day on Facebook has once again fooled me into believing I have an actual social life.

Fake people have an image to maintain, real people just don't give a shit.
Fake people have an image to maintain, real people just don’t give a shit.

Want to freak out your neighbours? Name your wifi... FBI Surveillance Van
Want to freak out your neighbours? Name your wifi… “FBI Surveillance Van”

I Googled Who Gives a Shit? My name wasn't in the search results.
I Googled “Who Gives a Shit?” My name wasn’t in the search results.

If you really loved me, you would say it on my Facebook Wall.
If you really loved me, you would say it on my Facebook Wall.

May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?

I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one liked it even though I refreshed it a few times.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one liked it even though I refreshed it a few times.

I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I’ve stalked you on the internet.

It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook.
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook.

We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

Facebook constantly reminds me that people uglier than me are getting engaged.
Facebook constantly reminds me that people uglier than me are getting engaged.

I would delete you off my Facebook friends list, but then you wouldn't be able to see all the fun things I do without you.
I would delete you off my Facebook friends list, but then you wouldn’t be able to see all the fun things I do without you.

My only professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor other than me.
My only professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor other than me.

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Your call is very important to us. So please enjoy this 40 minutes flute solo.
Your call is very important to us. So please enjoy this 40 minutes flute solo.

I only drink on two occasions. When it's my birthday and when it's not.
I only drink on two occasions. When it’s my birthday and when it’s not.

Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

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Hurry up and clean the house! They don't want people to think they actually live the way they actually live!
Hurry up and clean the house! They don’t want people to think they actually live the way they actually live!

Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

They say you are what you eat, but it's funny, because I don't remember eating a fucking legend.
They say you are what you eat, but it’s funny, because I don’t remember eating a f***ing legend.

Dear Lord, please let there be a zombie apocalypse so I can start shooting all these motherfuckers in the face.
Dear Lord, please let there be a zombie apocalypse so I can start shooting all these motherf***ers in the face.

Marriage basically consists of 3 fucking rings: Engagement ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Marriage basically consists of 3 f***ing rings: Engagement ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

I judge people due to their taste in music.
I judge people due to their taste in music.

You are entitled to have an opinion. I am just letting you know that it is stupid.
You are entitled to have an opinion. I am just letting you know that it is stupid.

You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to tell you how fucking stupid it is.
You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to tell you how f***ing stupid it is.

I want to like people, but they're just so fucking stupid.
I want to like people, but they’re just so f***ing stupid.

I can't wait to see you wearing nothing but a condom.
I can’t wait to see you wearing nothing but a condom.

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Dear life, when I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.

I am not anti-social, I am anti-stupid.
I’m not anti-social, I’m anti-stupid.

You make me wish I had more middle fingers.
You make me wish I had more middle fingers.

You ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
You ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

Keeping you job is the new raise.
Keeping your job is the new raise.

The best thing about you and me is me.
The best thing about you and me is me.

insulting you. I just describing you
No, no, no. I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you.

Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

I dont fart. I whisper in my panties.
I don’t fart. I whisper in my panties.

You should stop worrying about your weight and start worrying about your boring personality.
You should stop worrying about your weight and start worrying about your boring personality.

It is not you, it is my horrible choice in men.
It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.

I admire your relentless drive to further your education and avoid real work.
I admire your relentless drive to further your education and avoid real work.

Of course women dont work as hard as men... They get it right the first time.
Of course women don’t work as hard as men… They get it right the first time.

You inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you.

I would love to unfriend you on facebook with your fake inspirational quotes you post, but then you wouldn't be able to see my updates on the awesome things I do. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
I would love to unfriend you on facebook with your fake inspirational quotes you post, but then you wouldn’t be able to see my updates on the awesome things I do.

Just giving you a friendly reminder that the 'Unfirend' button is just a click to the right if you don't like what I post on my Facebook wall. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Just giving you a friendly reminder that the ‘Unfirend’ button is just a click to the right if you don’t like what I post on my Facebook wall.

I didn't unfriend you on Facebook by accident. I unfriended you because you annoy the crap out of me with your album of duck face poses. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
I didn’t unfriend you on Facebook by accident. I unfriended you because you annoy the crap out of me with your album of duck face poses.

Unfriend me from Facebook, that way I will not feel guilty on unfriend you. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Unfriend me from Facebook, that way I will not feel guilty on unfriend you.

Reading about your perfect little life on Facebook just makes me want to unfriend you. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Reading about your perfect little life on Facebook just makes me want to unfriend you.

I wish it was as easy to unfriend someone in real life like it is on Facebook. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
I wish it was as easy to unfriend someone in real life like it is on Facebook.

Why did I unfriend you on Facebook? Because your statues are annoying and I freaking hate your face. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Why did I unfriend you on Facebook? Because your statues are annoying and I freaking hate your face.

Oh, you do not like my political posts? Luckily for you, Facebook has an 'unfriend' button. You are welcome to use it at any time. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Oh, you do not like my political posts? Luckily for you, Facebook has an ‘unfriend’ button. You are welcome to use it at any time.

It's my Facebook page and I will post what I want. If you don't like my post then feel free to use the unfriend button. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
It’s my Facebook page and I will post what I want. If you don’t like my post then feel free to use the unfriend button.

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If you don't like what I post on my Facebook please use the 'Unfriend' option. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
If you don’t like what I post on my Facebook please use the ‘Unfriend’ option.

We used to be friends if you could just find your balls you would unfriend me on Facebook too. Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
We used to be friends if you could just find your balls you would unfriend me on Facebook too.

Last time I checked, this was my Facebook page. If you don't like what I have to say don't let the unfriend button hit you in the ass on the way out! Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Last time I checked, this was my Facebook page. If you don’t like what I have to say don’t let the unfriend button hit you in the ass on the way out!

Oh, you don't like my Facebook updates? Well, you have three options - unfriend me, block my updates, or suck it up, bitch! Unfriend A Friend on Facebook
Oh, you don’t like my Facebook updates? Well, you have three options – unfriend me, block my updates, or suck it up, bitch!

I'm not fluent in idiot, could you please speak more slowly?
I’m not fluent in idiot, could you please speak more slowly?

I wish I spoke idiot so I could tell you off in your own language.
I wish I spoke idiot so I could tell you off in your own language.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport and you an airplane.
If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport and you an airplane.

I've found the key to happiness stay away from idiots.
I’ve found the key to happiness stay away from idiots.

If you try to design something that's idiot proof, the universe will design a better idiot.
If you try to design something that’s idiot proof, the universe will design a better idiot.

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point out?
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point out?

I'm not avoiding you. I'm just 100% allergic to idiots like you.
I’m not avoiding you. I’m just 100% allergic to idiots like you.

Let's agree to disagree because you're too stupid to understand me.
Let’s agree to disagree because you’re too stupid to understand me.

Good news! The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to you.
Good news! The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to you.

When I said how stupid can you be? It wasn't a challenge.
When I said how stupid can you be? It wasn’t a challenge.

How To Unfriend Someone On Facebook?

To ensure that she or he is not able to see your profile anymore, put him or her on your blocked list. Go to privacy settings and it will be at the bottom of the page. He or she won’t be able to see any of your activity on Facebook; it’ll be like you’ve deleted your account to her. For best practice, set your profile to ‘friends’ only.

There is a saying, the hardest thing in life is not in learning, but to unlearn. Like a cup full of water, without emptying their minds they will never be able to absorb new ideas, new methods or new concepts. This is why some people remains an idiot forever, too stupid to admit his or her mistakes, yet too lazy to take the first step of learning something new. If you love these sarcastic sayings you can share and tag your friends on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, possibly the best good comeback lines.

9 Comments

  1. Gravatar
    Aprajita [ Reply ]

    Wow.. All those quotes were dreamingly amazing.
    What I always feel was described in these quotes.
    N yeah I’ve got many new what’s app status n posts 4 fb.
    Luv.:*

  2. Gravatar
    Stranger [ Reply ]

    Damn, Best quotes i ever seen i swear ❤ this quotes is the best in my whole life

  3. Gravatar
    luzdelaluna [ Reply ]

    awesome quotes.
    i have seen lot of funny quotes but this the very unique quotes i’ve ever seen.
    thanks for the quotes.

    • Gravatar
      sampada [ Reply ]

      DAMN…..BEST TILL NOW ❤❤❤

  4. Gravatar

    I am laughing very hard!!!

  5. Gravatar

    LOL!!! Who made these up?

  6. Gravatar

    They’re funny but I’m too nice to have this attitude.

  7. Gravatar
    JoAndra [ Reply ]

    Sticks n stones
    may break my bones,
    but your words will make me hurt you.

    • Gravatar
      Leeann [ Reply ]

      I like these. But I really need a good meme that says something like this….
      Them: sends friend request
      Me: accept
      Them: puts me on their restricted list ?‍♀️
      Me: what is the point, a stalker?

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