In a normal healthy relationship, there will always be fighting, and only through these arguments does a couple understand the differences, the likes and dislikes. What is not normal is when a relationship, be it couples or married becomes one sided. One partner has total control over the other mentally, physically and emotionally.
See More ▼ 40 Romantic Quotes about Love Life, Marriage and Relationships
I once met a guy and he told us his ideal wife is one that doesn’t work, preferably one that stays at home and watches TV all day long. His reason being that a woman with no income and no social contacts is easy to control. More often than not it is easier to blame the women for allowing this to happen to her, but like the boiling frog theory, a frog will not realize it is being boiled to death if it is placed in warm water and gradually heated up.
Can a male partner in an abusive and toxic relationship change for the better? Never! How to fix a toxic relationship? You can’t. Why do people stay in abusive relationships? Hope, they are waiting for a miracle that will never happen. Warning signs of a toxic relationship.
- He doesn’t like you to socialize, be it male or female friends and family members.
- He prefers you not working for no good reasons, or doesn’t encourage you to climb the corporate ladder.
- He loves spanking, choking or violent intimate moments when making out.
Sometimes they refuse to see how bad something is until it completely destroys us.
Never let someone who contributes so little to a relationship control so much of it.
The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.
It’s like one day you flipped a switch and became someone I never knew.
I trusted you but now your words mean nothing to me, because your actions spoke the truth.
A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down. It inspires you to be better.
The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.
Mental abuse is much more painful than physical abuse because you are consumed by your own thoughts.
A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dream, or your dignity.
Never make yourself feel like nothing to make someone else feel like everything.
There is no safe way to remain in a relationship with a person who has no conscience. The only solution is to escape.
You’re in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, and to make good memories. Not to be constantly upset, to feel hurt, and to cry.
There’s nothing worse than being used, except for denying it and allowing it to continue.
Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you.
You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their actions.
Don’t let your loyalty become slavery. If they don’t appreciate what you bring to the table, then let them eat alone.
Stop telling yourself you can fix him. He’s been this way for a long, long time and he doesn’t intend to change. Save yourself instead, get out while there’s still time.
Stay away from people who can’t take responsibility for their actions and who make you feel bad for being angry at them when they do you wrong.
A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn’t want for her daughter.
Being single and happy is better than being sad and afraid in an abusive relationship.
There is no safe way to remain in an abusive relationship with a person who has no conscience. The only solution is to escape.
The problem is women think he will change, he won’t. And men make the mistake of thinking she will never leave, she will.
At any given moment you have the power to say, “This is not how the story is going to end.”
You’re not broken. Someone who didn’t love you convinced you that you are.
Do you feel alone in your relationship? Abusers isolate their partner from friends and family, and make them dependent financially, socially, and physically.
If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
Poisonous relationships can alter their perception. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless, you’re unappreciated.
It is better to break your own heart by leaving an abusive relationship, rather than having that person breaking your heart every day.
Don’t allow someone to mentally abuse you just because you love them.
If he makes you lose your family, lose your friends, lose your confidence, lose your self-esteem, or lose your happiness, then you need to lose him.
The reminders to not stay in an emotionaly abusive relationship make me see im not alone and i really need to go No Contact.Im Afraid!
I understand this fear as I was once in your shoes. The only way I left with my life was to pretend in his world while creating an escape of my own. There are so many resources today that are willing to help and guide you away from your abuser. Including helping you back on your feet. Please contact the domestic violence hotline or talk with your doctor. Please do not have these conversations with DV or your Dr in his presence. Everyone deserves happiness and often times abusers never change- it just gets worse.
That’s a lie. Don’t lie to someone to get them out of a situation. Help them by saying the truth. I finally got away from such a terrible abusive man to find out their is NO help out their. No rent help, no protection, no nothing. It’s unreal. It’s a whole nother kind of worry.
I agree I reached out to every service possible and got not help! The police the doctor the shelter lawyers ITS ALL BULLSHIT!!! No one helped me! And I waisted more time and energy I didn’t have!
I’ve been with an abusive person for 2yrs . When I finally have courage and call police and file for report they don’t listen and police don’t think of explaining anything and They say the law take domestic violence serious! I don’t think so I report for verbal arguments but told Police he have been abusive and lucky tht night I was able to get away and run outside when police ask if he have any weapons I said yes he have threatened me with it befiore!! Police should have done the right and correct way of doing things when police found the weapon at his house police erase verbal argument and told me they will treat the case as domestic violence because they found gun but I told the police this was not my intention cuz I only want to report of him arguing and police didn’t listen and took him to jail they gave him 7charges and after 3days they let him out drop all the charges including domestic violence!! Police didn’t even give me emergency protection it would take a month to file for restraining order now not only I won’t able to ask him to pay his debt they let the man walk out after he almost took my life as if nothing happen. Mentally verbally emotionally physically and financially abuse that he did and police should’ve have listened to me leepirt verbal argument but they didn’t hear me and listen and that my life is ruin and where’s the help! I’m sacred and I’m now struggling finding myself and I’m so much debt!
I was in a abusive relationship abused in every single way possible my self esteem was destroyed by this guy and I was not courageous enough to leave him then one day i realised i cannot take it anymore. Initilally it will be difficult but trust me it will pass F*** treat your mother and sister like you treated me
good bye
Why are all these quotes aimed at women. Men are abused too! There is help everywhere for an abused woman but hardly any for an abused man… What happened to equality? My brother is from an abusive relationship and when he went for help he was sent to a womens charity because there wasn’t a mens charity in the area. He was passed from pillar to post to get help. This is ridiculous and it needs to change. No wonder men are ashamed to come forward as victims because there is no help and they are told to basically man up and deal with it. It’s unfair.
Bro I think you’re right. I was in an abusive relationship with a girl for 10 years. She used me like anything and blamed me for everything. She was cheating on me from past 3 years with 3 other guys. She mentally and emotionally drained me, constantly lied to me and made me feel like a trash. But whenever she needed anything she was nice for the time being. I finally came to know she was cheating and I was devastated because this was my 1st relationship. But i believe everything happe for a reason. I’m having a daily battle between my heart and mind but still I forgave her because that gave me peace.
Totally agree and understand….. this is not gender specific. I have just come out of a alcohol fuelled toxic physical and emotional relationship….. and made me feel worthless and useless…. But not much help for men out there….. lucky I have family who care
Amen
I’m with an abuser who treats all other women with respect except for me I only get the opposite. I have a plan now and after thirty plus years of abuse I now have the strength to find my happy place. I’m doing it with my faith there is no help out there for some of us.my dr. Is a good advisor..and this site is so encouraging it’s giving me the information I need to shut this door forever. No more suffering in silence..I have something to say to people who are in this nightmare too. It’s time for me to wake up from these horrible night terrors. I’m awakening now more and more
Reading your comment – so true I too I have just come out of a abusive controlling relationship after 31 years my only ever boyfriend – it was tough to get out and at the end he was arrested twice – but how I can now breathe again – its not easy but when you can take no more – what got me everyone thought he was so nice and he is a Mason as well – truly something – so many red flags over the years with other things but I just accepted it – stay strong and we all deserve better x
Monday was my 35th wedding anniversary and it was horrible. He was terribly emotionally and psychologically abusive over Mother’s Day and anniversary. He’s been abusive and I’m more devastated when I found out he had been cheating for years. Especially when so mean, I’m in ptsd mode and just want him to care. Ugh
How do you break the trauma bonds or whatever this attachment is!
I have been married for 8 years but my husband abusses me mentally and physically. He beats me and he insults me infront of my kids. Am an orphan everytime he tells to move out and go.
I think of suicide but I look back and look at my kids I just cry. Am jobless. Am stressed up. Please I need a shoulder to lean on
My man conconvinced everyone he was so good started seeing a girl in my town and then started seeing all my friends so I have no friends
Then he attacked me in front of this other girl holding my neck down with his foot and pulling my arms off literally off I now have als in them dying from it and the DHS asked the other day what happened in a letter for my ohca and I told them I’m scared now he makes me depend on him for money everything and I’m so weak I can’t even take care of myself all the way I want to tell but I don’t think the cops around here would believe me and I think they’re in on it i hate this. I’m scared to leave my kids die from this because they prep little girls they’re pretty sick you know trafficking not drugs but using drugs for it it’s pretty sad it’s really sad and there’s so many of us that are scared to tell but we all know what’s going on it’s right in front of people’s face and they can’t even see it I mean these people like put cameras and they keep you under surveillance all the time it’s crazy they make others believe that you’re just nuts it’s crazy world out there be careful I have so many doctors appointments that I can’t focus on anything else and it’s really really getting hard
I have been married for 15years and was abused emotionally, physically and mentally for all these years. I left but he still follows me to abuse me. Please I need help. He is so violent
Get someone to help you to proof that he’s following you. Have the police lay charges against him for stalking and he can go to jail for a time. Also do not show you’re afraid. Abusers love that, it’s a form of manipulation.
Put his butt in jail!!
Order a restrain on him. Go to another country, or state. Change your name, and identity. Loose or gain pounds to make yourself look different. If your hair is curly, straighten it. Straight hair, curl it! Glasses? Get contacts. Vice Versa. Ride a bus, or subway. It’s hard to follow someone without a car. Change your wardrobe, the way you walk, talk. Shop at different places. Not only he won’t be able to stalk you, but you’ll be able to try new things!
Yes… I use another name, wear wigs anything that will help stay safe. It’s been 4 years without an incident but I still live in fear. I’ve found that no where is safe for me. It’s a process.
We dated 4 years before getting married. After marriage when I conceived he showed who he really is. I was emotionally drained. We are separated now.. I feel happy at least my child will never know his toxic father .
I’ve been in a relationship for 1 year now with a man who has a temper. I had a gathering and because I didnt make sure he was ok he was upset and told me I needed to leave. I said you’re evil. He stood up and grab me by my neck, walk me to the front door. And shelved me.
Is this a reason to leave
For sure! Don’t wait, get out now. The longer I wait, the harder it will be to leave later!
Have you reported his stalking and assaults? Today I am disabled from my abuser after I left him the beatings and assaults continued in public, even with public record and active RO. My abuse began in the 90’s where there were little to no laws for actual protection. My abuser did not stop these violent attacks until 2015. Please keep your strength, you must report and complain, obtain a restraining order. I’m sure you may have to go into a shelter for your safety. Years ago my shelter stays each were 30 days it’s on hopes that the abuser will stop looking for you while you are in the shelter. Please talk with someone and obtain help. Many abusers suffer mental illness and can hurt you badly if given the chance. You deserve to live happy and free from his abuse. Contact the Donestic Violence hotline or your local police Dept.
Why are all these quotes about the man being in the wrong…… Because in my life its the opposite im the victim and the mother of my kids is the abuser
Nowadays society implements this thing called toxic masculinity into everything. Men literally aren’t allowed to have feelings and they CaNt Be ViCtUmS oF aBuSe cuz they are stronger. Seriously feminism is getting sooo toxic.
– A Girl Who Isn’t and idiot like the person who created these series of quotes
I have a boyfriend who am going to marry in a few days coming but he has a very bad temper and he beat me anytime I got him angry, today I nearly lose one eye and is a few days to our wedding, please I need your advice
Don’t marry him! If he hurts you now before you’ve “tied the knott” he will only hurt you more later when he thinks you can’t leave. If your family loves you and they know you are getting hurt by him they will support you.
Do not marry him. That’s is not love what he is doing. Marriage is a celebration of equal love and respect to each other and this is not what you are receiving. I don’t know how you can go in and enjoy this day and enter a life with this man. Surely it doesn’t feel right. That gut feeling that tells you, you don’t deserve this is right! Unfortunately our love, empathy, guilt and above all our hope and belief in them that they wi change keeps us stuck feeling unable to make any decisions and changes for ourself.
I’m in a marriage of abuse ..he hits me whenever we have an argument he has promised me many times he won’t do that again but he still keeps doing it, he claims everything to himself even as little as the phone he got for me, he cheats on me and when I confront him he denies everything he does all this when he is angry….
Whatever you do, DON’T MARRY HIM!!!! This behavior will never stop and will only get worse. Next time he may kill you.
How do you do all this changing thing without a cent to your name!
An abusive relationship can also make you lonely in the presence of every one…
That comment hit the bone… so true.
Sometimes I think it’s Normal everybody haves problems. But I’m always alone. His drama destroyed my good days and my bad days get worst.
Thanks for sharing! So sad to see this kind of a relationship. And its really hard to leave in this situation but we should also consider loving ourselves more. And letting go of a toxic relationship is the best thing to do. Self love is priority.
I’ve been in a relationship with my fiance for 5 good years now and I have been experiencing all types of abuse, since we met I’ve had 4 miscarriages and stillborn pregnancies due to his physical abuses and the painful part is that he keeps me locked up always I can’t go out or even talk to neighbours without him getting angry and I’m really really tired and don’t even know what to do anymore, recently I’m experiencing back and waistline pains and I’m afraid I’m going to loose my pregnancy once again please help me
I was married to a man for 30 years that mentally abused me I finally got out of it. It’s been 5 years but daughter and l live in fear everyday he going to come back and try to hurt us. His abuse was worse after I left him because he see nothing he done wrong. Lady they’re not going to change do not stay in any kind of abusive relationship. As Time passed it get worse and worse
My mother told me that since I’ve been in this abusive relationship for the past 3 years it has turned me so defensive I come off as if I’m always being attacked and it’s because that’s always how I feel! And it’s not good nor is it comfortable I’m always on edge like I have to fight for my place to be, when I don’t have to be like that around my family!
in a relationship where its alwys full of arguments…there is no day my patner will ever say nice things about you its a long distance relationship no say i love you or miss you will come from his mouth but when he needs favours hill ask knowing all be there…we hv a kid together
mentally am getting worse cause evrytime we fight hell alwys tell you how he doesnt care ,i feel lonely but i cant even say
Please try to get out of the relationship, as soon as possible.He’s bringing you down and he’s not going to change.I’m in an abusive marriage also.I’ve stopped cooking his meals,and buying him things.Due to him being so controlling.He takes our car keys,and stays out all night.Starts arguments with me, for no reason.We go to the mall,hell buy himself something ,but not me.He won’t even wait for me,to shop for myself.I always feel rushed,and unloved.We have five children together,my oldest son has Cerebral Palsy.Our youngest daughter is 10.I know,I have to get out of my marriage.The men never change, they get worse.
There are woman who abuse men brutally so.. Thereafter these women open cases against poor innocent men knowing very well that they are blatantly liers. These kind of women deserve to be arrested period
I’m currently in a relationship where my partner gets upset with me for confronting him when he’s wrong. He flips everything on me, yells, call me out of my name, and he have even hit me a few times. I came in to this relationship with two children of my own already and when he’s upset he have told me f*ck me and my child multiple times. He’s never sorry for hitting me but only for the things he says. He tells me it’s my fault that he hit me because I shouldn’t get him that mad. I’m only 21 and I’ve been verbally abused my whole life. I just ask that everyone listen to me and get out while they can, I’m still here and I don’t know why or even how to leave without making matters worse and I put so much time and love into this relationship that I’m lost and don’t know what to do. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always this bad but I did see the signs that it was soon to come. For those going through something similar I pray for you and I’m truly sorry. Leave now it will only get worse.
You need out. Because you deserve everything good in life
i have been in a relationship for a year and a half and all it has been is emotional abuse. i can’t get out of it. he threatens me, and his own life if i leave. he also threatens my family if i leave. i can’t do anything and i’m stuck. i hate him with every last bone in me and i wish he would get out of my life but he’s told me what he will do if i try to leave him. i’m scared and giving up on my own life right now.
Did you get help?
I’m In a relationship have been for 3 years at the start everything was good till he started lying, hiding messages. Meeting another girl. Every time I forgave him but I still keep finding the odd stuff out causes arguments both say things but he is really short tempered.he has hit me or had his hands around my throat or face I’m scared of him.
My family dont know what happens his mum walks on egg shells with him. Moved in together feel trapped and alone he spends all of his time on his ps4.
He also never admits hes in the wrong or.turns it around on me. He blames his upbringing.
Terry! Pack your things and leave when he s not there. Never let him know where you are. You have to inform your friends and family and ask them to help you.
6years in relationship we got married and he lied a lot We had a baby girl when I was pregnant he used to hit me so hard in my pregnancy he would dragged me on the floor threw hard things on me. When my family came I pretended as if nothing happened? anytime he comes after I gave birth he would beat me in front of my baby girl one day the stepped on her when she’s 1year old. He always say this word I DONT CARE
He used to tell me I will regret my life always that I need to do everything he wanted or else he will show me hell. Sometimes I won’t eat he will go out with another girl and spend
He didn’t support my business after marriage
He told me I disgust him anytime he sees me
He would said to me I should go back to my parents house
Sometimes he wll tell me to sleep on the floor with my child not to sleep on the bed or even our chair. Nobody knows I will still pretend and put smile on my face
He hit me so many times because of woman and he will said to me I can’t do anything about it.
So many slapped
He naked me in front of his cousin and hit me
My baby would ? so hard while he was beating me but I felt bad tho
One day he dragged me out of the house and collect my shoe that should walk with my legs
Public he hit me so hard
And my baby was in my head that night. He doesn’t care
June 2019 he abandoned my child and I and left the house
He traveled back to turkey
He packed everything out of the house..
He used to curse me a lot
We stopped talking
Last month he called and said he want me back.
Please don’t go back to this monster ever!! Stay strong and don’t ever get in his emotional trap..these ppl will never ever change.
Never go back. If you do, there s no coming out of it and you have a baby. Please think of your child.
How come every quote assume the man as the abuser? I am male and was abused for over twelve years by my spouse. No wonder men feel like they have to just suck it up
I guess that is what the general perception is, and is wrong. Just like only Whites can be racist, which is not true. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I’ll come up with a male version.
I understand the stereotype. I know you are not alone. I recently discovered my mom abused my father as well as my siblings…..and me too, there I said it. I left when I was 17 was was not back much until my father’s recent death. The flood gates opened…. You are not alone, I hope you have the strength to take your life back and recover your self..
I have been in a abuse relationship for about 20 years we have children together he has been like this from the word go smashing up the house shouting at me threatening me to having affairs giveing no money to me putting me down telling how worthless I am .He make a point of that he get so much money then I do in he front of people but I have to pay all the bills not a penny for the children all he cares about is his self and when I stand up for my self he gets mad I have to hide my phone because he will smash it he drinks every day and takes drugs but the reason why I haven’t left is because of my children and also have know to go I have no family I don’t no what to do
I’ve been with my husband for 16 years, married for 8. In the beginning it was rocky but after having our second child and getting married shortly after, I couldn’t be happier. I was truly in love with him, as he was with me. In Oct. 2014 we had our third son and moved a couple months later. A year in he started slowly controlling me, I had really bad Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. This progressed for 4 years. I was invisible to him, he was cold and distant and took all financial access away from me. I would be up crying all night. I would send him text messages of quotes saying that one day you will regret treating me like this. He would leave me home without a car and purposely have me miss my middle sons baseball games. Now 5 years later he wants to work on our marriage. I am numb to him and have so much resentment I can’t come back from. Is this normal. Is it wrong that I don’t love him no more? I’m at a lose and not happy.
Also I am blamed for everything that goes wrong. I’m bad with money he says. I don’t spend enough time with my kids, I’m a stay at home mom and do all the cleaning. If I pay a bill I’m wrong because I did it from an account I have no access to. He has multiple accounts where he hides money. If I don’t pay a bill however I’m wrong. I feel bad I will destroy my kids by leaving. I am lost. I feel like I lost ability to do anything. He even controls the grocery shopping and will give me money, rarely if I ask.
No, you are not wrong to not love someone who doesn’t love or respect you. Relationships are supposed to be better than being alone, not worse! He lost his chance with you. Remember how bad he treated you.
What is with guys that they see no wrong in abusing ??
How do these people have no iSight ?
My boyfriend blames me for every single thing in his life.after 7 years he says I manipulated him by sleeping with him and then started asking commitment from him . He says he was very happy with the girl he dated before me and he still wants to go back to her . He says he will never marry me
Over smalll menial issues he shouts abuses bad cuss words , says ill sleep with anyone . If I fight back with arguing he beats me . Slaps me throws me on the floor kicks me . Leaves me like that and goes . Next day by evening just one text sorry
That is the maximum effort he has made .
It was not like this before . But things that gPpened once in a year now happen once in a week . Even if I go away today . It will have 0 impact on him and that disturbs me the most
Was this 7 years nothing for him ?? Did he always love that girl ?
This is a wonderful article/story/path to move forward. After a poor marriage and long term relationship I FINALLY understand the source, my mother. My sibs fled years ago, she apparently was hurting them in private. My dad abandoned her by dying. I have felt her rages the past 6 months. Her finances and house are now organized. Food is delivered. I hired a friend of mine she likes to clean for a couple of hours every other week, to make sure all is ok in her house. I’m grieving that she hurt my siblings. I’m angry at my father for allowing it. I apparently collect animals as a love substitute…they love me, at least at meal time…I am better than ok. I will be fine. I have 2 wonderful children who have lives of their own but touch base with me frequently. May you have the courage and strength to see clearly and get your life back.
Men can also be the victim. I’m suffering as you are, but I guess that’s not recognised as the norm.
From experience and from current experiences sometimes acting like your not afraid makes it worse. Trust me I almost lost my life for it. I always repeatedly punched in my face and then choke out until I went to sleep. This is really bad advice if you don’t know the abuser and there triggers / personality.
* I meant I was repeatedly not always
Someone I held down for 4 years decided that am no longer good enough, he does absolutely nothing, but always have the worse to say
He beat me up through out the night and break my leg then he saw it in the next day that am struggling to walk nd he decide to take me to a doctor acting as if he is a nice guy.
This is WAY too sexist.You give power to a person and see how abuse rolls in. It happens BOTH ways. I believe we’ve been fighting for equality but just when we gave it we’ve forgotten the word Bias. It could happen to either of them. Abuse is abuse may it be a male or a female, verbal or physical.